I’ve heard it a lot: make mistakes, fail forward, experiment… I’ve tried to nail the idea of “failing is OK” into my head. Now I tried to stop eating sugar and found myself smashing Easter-chocolate and I feel crappy. Not for my stomach trying to digest the worst combination of non-nutrients ever invented, but for I failed what I wanted to do and worse – who I wanted to be. I am not the person I thought I could be. I hurt my stomach (and my teeth) and I regret it and I feel like a failure and I am ever so slightly shaming myself for failing. Quadruple pain it is.
Somehow thinking that failure is OK doesn’t make me feel that it is OK. Just listen to the word “failure”, how does it ring to your ears? It’s brutal, it’s shaming and it comes from Latin (fallere = deceive).
So, let’s invite some heart-warming thoughts here and relax for a moment. Take a break. I try to always take a break whenever I get a glimpse of waking up from a state where I deceive myself – like sitting in front of the screen with 475 open tabs in my browser trying to figure out how I can promote my music while actually feeling lost and confused – what I do is to go out and listen to the birds for a few minutes, or take a cold shower, or cook or bake or play Chopin (or try to).
Don’t let the ghost of fallere get you down. If anything is not working, you are down already. Enjoy it. Let yourself feel it. Let’s stop talking about failure and mistakes and getting down. These words have judgement and shame in them, no matter how positively you formulate the surrounding sentence. Let’s talk about life-promoting things instead. Like space. Have some space. Like breath. Take a breath. And another one. Like allowing. Allow yourself to pause the output, let some fresh air in. And let the deception replace itself with gratitude. Watch the magic happen.